An Experiment to test the hypothesis: Does Teva need a man??

As a growing student of science, I have come to learn that things should only be utilized after months of extensive research(depending on the topic/issue) and experimentations to fully understand the nature of a particular issue, and as Pat (my research methods lecturer) would say to nullify alot of hypothesis and say that with a certainty of up to 90% this particular issue means this.
An enthusiastic student that i am, i decided to apply this approach to solving an age long mystery in my life
" Does Teva really need a man?"
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, there you have it. To make this a one tailed experiment, i've redefined the hypothesis: "Teva need a man" and we will try to nullify this through a series of experiments run over a week. In conformity with APA standards (I wish you could all see how i've been laughing...)This experiment will be conducted after an ethical review (this took a year to get! LOL)

Abstract

Isolating relevant stimuli that makes an average female desire a man was the most difficult part of this experiment. As we all know the female homo sapiens sapiens is probably the most complex of all carbon-based mammals. Thus i've classified narrowed the independent variables down to the most prevalent types:
1. 'He-Is' - this i define as an overwhelming attraction to a guy (his personality, his mannerisms...at least an attraction that supercedes lust)
2. Esthetics - It is popular knowledge that most ladies would have a man just cause he has some financial, physical or mental incentives to offer. Lets be honest, Who wants a dull, broke, fat guy??
3. Loneliness - The number one cause of why woman take on men, even when they decipher that he might not be worth it in the end
4. Status - This is not a conclusive trait for all women, but a sizeable percentage of women would date a guy because he's single. Some will date him, just 'cause he's married, etc....different strokes for different folks

Method:

A week long analysis of trait by altering some independent on three 'likely' subjects': MBLA, Xfac, Bal. Each of the subjects has at least an average measure of 'He-Is' factor, moderate esthetics, and are all single (Teva's preference). Ok, let the experiments begin....
Please not that all these are examined with very little 'physical contact with the subjects'

Test 1:
48-hour silence
It is believed that absence should make the heart grow fonder. Since we cant move the subjects away from their normal routines, teva was instructed to avoid ALL contact with each subject for a period of 48 hours. No contact covers verbal and non-verbal communication: call, emails, greeting longer than 30 secs. etc. To ensure that the stimuli produced by the subjects were isolated, the other two subjects were engaged in continued dialogue over this period. That is: When Xfac is tested, contact is maintained with MBLA and Bal
Result:
Xfac - A stimulus of yearning was detected for the first 12 hours. Afterward nothing else.
Bal - No stimuli was detected.
MBLA - Could not complete the 48-hour silence. The stimulus of yearning was detected from the first 3 hours which peaked by the 38th hour and resulted in a compromise of test (that is an email).

Test 2:
Quality of time spent:
The average woman values what is referred to as "Quality Time". This is time spent with her man doing what she feels adds to the pleasure derived from the relationship.In this experiment, the quality of time spent is measured by:
1 the number of laughs per hour spent with the subject(QL);
2 the number of 'uncomfortable moments' per meeting(UM);
3 the number of moments of 'intense attraction'(IA)
Result:



Test 3:
Feasibility studies:
This is an analysis of how easy it will be for the subject to fit into an appropraite boyfriend situation. This covers how adaptable the subject is, how flexible he is. Is he dependable? Does he handle situations well?Please note that the results of this test are strictly at the candidate's intuitive deduction of each subject and is ranked as
1 - Outstanding 2-Just Right 3- Manageable 4- Not suitable 5- HELL NO!!

Xfac - 1
Bal - 3
MBLA - 2

Conclusion:
Each of the candidiates have strong points and its hard to conclude....you know what? I just realised that i've been testing the suitability of any three of the subjects and not whether or not Teva needs a man or not...hmmm anyway 'It doesntmatta!!!'

What's going on here????

Seems like in the last couple of days everyone knows more about me than me and what was most annoying was how i was just smiling, ignoring it, or simply let it slide which is same as nodding in agreement. And last night, the result of a date gone bad, I had had enough and was going to give 'ja' serious warning to all of them... Imagine someone telling me I have an identity crisis because i like Buble?? What the hell?! I mean, I was trying to remain polite but it was clear that i'd either leave the room or say things i'd eventually regret. I usually just ignore the ignorant talk, but sometimes it just hits the wrong nerve!
Na wa o! So its by force to carry the naija flag on my chest because i'm african?? I hate it when people take this whole 'I'm african thing' up their noses and then try to play god with other people's lives...I mean...'Y'all aint all that! So Shut the hell up!' On second thought...kiss my natural black, cute behind!!
I mean, I'm trying to be less opinionated, milder, and less pissed off with the shenanegans of all the guys I know, but it seems like the more good you try to do, the more infuriating people become. Anyways, no one will faze me! I'm good like that!

Ola amigos!!! How y'all doing?? Na wa for blogsville o! Abi virus don dey carry people's blog comot? Na so i wan go visit my darling temmy's blog and the enemies of progress don steal am go! I tried like three times, its later she tell me say na EVIL DETRACTORS! Make i warn them now...I'm bad like that! If you near my blog eh??? Holy Ghost fire go burn your yash! LOL. ( I couldn't resist putting that)
So how is everyone? For those peeps being hammered by harmathan, I emphatize and for those who are freezing in undulating temperatures...'e pele o' (Sorry o).
Yes, lets begin this evening's tales by moonlight with the a loud congratulations to my uncle and aunt, on the arrival of their bouncing baby boy (why on earth do they always refer to new babies as 'bouncing'?). Yes o! Our home in the border town between Lagos and Ogun state was the venue of the celebration. And it goes without mention that there is always drama in 'owanbe parties'. Infact, i spent close to an hour listening to my sisters go on and on about the mini-series that unfolded. Naija women and drama sha! Hmm....well, I guess when I have my own baby, i'll pull enough efizi(dazzling moves) as well. Omo, I don tire to dey transcribe this blog gan sef? Na almost everything i wan yarn no sweet reach the flavor of my wafi brothers...Haba? Na so i dey talk to one guy in my class and he ask me say 'se i dey use pigin wit am because i said 'gan sef' I laugh e??
Ok...from hence forth, ich spreche deutsh! toll! Super! Na lie! LOL. Yeah, where was I? The fantastic naming ceremony of my second cousin! It went well, lets thank God for his wonders in their lives, and i really hope this is the last baby! LOL.
Yeah, I spent some time with my girl, yeye inc. Omo, the girl na wa o! She and her love wantin tin! The yeye girl dey give me 'love counselling' because i said i didnt want MB anymore. who would? The guy's got more drama than Mc-Dreamy in Grey's anatomy.
@Md Yeye Inc : The clown had plans with freaky last night! Imagine? Thank God I didnt waste my tapping jacket for such a woeful event.
Ok. Back to tales by moonlight...Story story.....
story....
Once upon a time....
time time
I told you guys about the writing competition thing abi? Guess how far i've gone... Guess, 150 characters only. Exactly the first paragraph on the first page. i dont know what happened to me o! Maybe course work, yeah but i've been too upset with a lot of things to keep a level head and write some serious words. I've been unnecessarily touchy these past few days. First I found out the truth about MBLA and I was very disappointed. I mean it looked like we were making progress but my people, na so wind blow o! and we saw the anus of the chicken! Literally! LOL. As if that wasn't bad enough, I was hanging out with peeps over here, and they began to tasi (yap) me about my tastes...They began casually about with why I like things that most girls dont. One even said, I'm too like a guy for my own good. why dont i be more 'submissive like women are meant to be?' and them moved to my taste and delight in non-African esthetics....and to crown it all, my taste in music. To all of these, I would have smiled peacefully and left them to their rants but they had the audacity to diss Michael Buble!
WHAT????? By the end of the night, everyone had learned a valuable lesson 'thou shalt not speak ill of Buble when Teva's around!'
What most of them didnt realise was simply this, its not about buble, or milk, or doing thing the way i do. Its about you not realising how hurtful& hypocritical you get when you think that your way of life is the norm of the universe. It shows an utter disrespect for my person and the things I hold dear! Friends are meant to respect each others opinions, even when its off, you dont treat it as an open-mic night at the comedy central!
I was surprised at my outburst! I didnt know I had it in me. They later apologised after spending more than five minutes listening to me in absolute amazment! Dont mess with me...i'm gangster like that...LOL
Truth is they'd had it coming for a long long time. You know the kind of people you dread to visit because all they ever talk about is how 'off' you are. Well, I guess they'll find someone else to pick on now, 'cause this babe aint taking crap from no body...she's on FIRE!!!

Can I ask a honest question? Why do married men (think its cool to) chase single (younger) ladies? Is there an epidemic in our system that makes you marry and within two years you cant bear the thought of being around your wife and kids? Did they force you two to marry? Why cant you make it work? Must you then frustrate the life of the young girls around you just 'cause you are the boss? I guess its the naive me talking but please help me out. How do you do it? Its less than two years ago that you pledged your life to this breathtaking young woman, who soon became the mother of your children...why..oh why cant you be with her any more? And its not like they've grown fat and unkempt. No! they are still sauve. Other men still oogle her! Still you cant see it? What the hell? Or is that middle life crisis is now mid-thirties' crisis?
My case was abit mixed up,but my friend was just telling me about YET another married guy who would rather hang around her house after work than go home. He will go from club to club instead of heading home after work. What is going on with naija men these days? Same thing the shameless twirp that was chasing my kid sis who turned out to be uncle's colleague at work, married with one beautiful daughter...What more do you want?
You ruin the lives of the ladies outside, you ruin the lives of the kids in your marriage, you ruin your wife's life...why? What is it? Cant you be content? I mean why make false promises when you are not tired of running game? Its sickening! There's enough drama in the world as it is, we dont need more families falling apart! What kind of legacy are we leaving for our children...?
I mean, everyday people are getting hitched, infact in my former office, there'll be four weddings this november alone. My cousin's marrying in december, my mate's kid sis is getting married in december....alot...of them are getting married...please dont break any more hearts...
If you know that you are not ready to stick it through...dont do it! If you're not sure, its cuz you are probably still not ready!
We've lost a lot of our heritage over the years, let's not lose our sense of responsibility. Lets not kill 'the family'.

A fabulous weekend

As friday approached I was a bit nervous, wasnt sure if taking that break was for me but oooooooooh yes it was! Oooh yes! I'm back with a BANG!!!(literally)..whatever! I am back! I feel the adrenaline like never before. Tinu's back to stay!!! Yeah!!!!
As I was about to start typing the next sentence, the music of fabolous majek fashek just came on!
ooh Lord! e!
I am not afraid,
even when they try to put me down,
I am not afraid!
Almighty guide I
Jesus guide I
Jehovah guide I....

Then I look up to jah!
I look up to jah for my tomorrow,
I look up to jah to wipe away my sorrow,
I look up to jah
Now that i know that...I am not afraid!

Omo, this my media player dey feel the spirit. LOL. Anyways, where was I?? Yes o! I'm back! That weekend in bradford was just what the doctor ordered. It was peaceful, restful and completely faboulous.
First, I want to say a big thank you to my wonderful hosts. These guys showed me a good time! Plus, they brought back the memories of my tomboy days! I think as we grow, we dont realise how much we are sacrificing and giving up. To them, life is a gift that must be appreciated and savoured. If there was ever a perfect complement of personalities, that had to be them! It was great! Thanks guys! I would marry you guys if i could make up my mind btw the two of you (since polyandry aint legal in naija), yeah....its not just that, you'll dont like buble! shame! LOL
Oooh, I am happy!
Thats wonderful! Even for me to acknowledge. Let me give you guys the background gist that led to friday.
Monday to wednesday -general faffing and forming busy and watching MBLA and the other cuties waltz back and forth around me. Ok, that aint quite accurate. I spent more time catching up on my studies and then dealing with the volume of course work (like the one i'm ignoring now to write this). Ok.
What happened? yes, Me and my big mouth went and asked the new prospective bros some very funny questions...omo....it wasnt funny! Do you guys have moments when you ask a question you are almost certain that you know the answer; which to the best of your knowledge will affirm this 'sentimental feeling' and to your rudest shock, the answer you get is the an utterly divergent answer.
Well, trust madam teva to put herself inside a situation she no like. In fact, i vex for myself so tey...even madam yeye inc. no fit snap me out of am! Omo, e no funny o! So by friday I was in the "bite 'em" mode.
Since i'd bought the ticket since monday I knew there was a 60% chance i'd go, cuz me, if i dont feel certain about something i aint doing it man...aint nothing nobody can say about it!
But thursday night as i was putting finishing touches to my travel bag, i just thought to myself 'what the hell...' and that was it. After my morning duties, i set out. I wandered around a while, asked for directions and the other sherere (miscellanous and unnecessary activites), we began to move and my nightfall I had arrived bradford. You know the funniest thing, its as i'm writing about it now that i'm realising how beautiful the station was. Ok. Before i proceed, let me warn you that yours faithfully loves esthetics. So when i found out that house was close to the city hall which had the large clock tower that rings its bell every 30 minutes, she went 'aaaawwwwwwwwww'. You know what, that's the kinda place i'd like to get for myself. The flat is WELL postioned. Tinu's defintion of well positoned is as follows, right opposite the building is 'clarks' and to left is an all night pub' to the right are 3 banks, and thomas cook. At an angle to the left is a faboulous chinese/thai restaurant. at an 45 degrees to the right is a big screen tower in the middle of the park.
I'm not done. Right beside Clarks is McDonalds followed by this huge confectionary to cater to my occasional indulgences...and right opposite Mc-D is 24 hour pharmacy....There's a really huge shopping mall just 5 minutes from the flat and the major shopping square is simply 15 minutes walk away....what more could a girl ask for???? I tell you when I woke up this morning and thought about leaving, i cringed!

Ok. So i got in, the apartment was tight by all standards and spotless thanks to my friend's flat mate. After introductions, we just started flowing...like we'd been friends for ages. Then the guys started showing up...omo within 10 minutes the quiet homely feel had been replaced with laughter, trips and styling of guys having a good time. It was nice. Then the switched to PS 6. What will save men from games eh?? Well, like they say, its either one vice or the other...LOL. So tired teva went to bed in preparation for saturday's outings. Saturday was beautifully backed. I waka sotey my hips were aching. from shop to shop, it was bliss. Thank God I aint married yet, omo, my husband has to hide his credit card on certain days; for his and my protection LOL.
Then saturday night there was this afro-carribean party. Omo, it trips me how people are very particular and borderline fanatical about being a member of a creed or clique. It makes me wonder about the identity crisis that my friend kept mentioning through the weekend. Alot of folks aren't sure what or who they are. They just go about sampling opinions, flavours, trends and in the end they're still as empty as they were when they started. It makes me wonder about my life. Makes me wonder if i'll hold the same principles and have the same scruples about some issues if i was raised here. It must be really tough growing up now. With everyone and everything around you telling what you are/ aren't and what you should or shouldn't do. I fear for my kids yet unborn. How will they cope? hmm....

Ok. back to the party, slamming! My darling hosts abandoned me to dance wit the rockin' babes and would wink at me or catch my eyes just to show that they were still with me in spirit even though their bodies were elsewhere. LOL. By the end of the night i'd managed to loosen up enought to catch some bembele (small) trips.
Enter sunday, missed church (yeah i feel bad) and there was the arsenal-liverpool match come and see boys barajing because of arsenal. It was fun to watch. Then later we caught a movie. it was nice. On the way back, we walked and talked. It reminded me of what was missing in my side of london. A sense of calm. We strolled leisurely back, making fun of ourselves, talking and generally just having a good time. I must say that i had to remind myself that as much as i wanted to preserve the memory, I knew, I would still make better and more beautiful ones....
the legendary King sunny ade comes up with Malanu makorin ("I will open my mouth and sing and praise God") I should. In fact i am praising God, i had a wonderful break! I hope yours was as much fun as mine or better...I'm glad i said yes! for indeed it was a fabulous weekend...( I'm sure some people are like, what is it gan sef? Wetin happen wey never happen before...LOL) and if you want in on the gist behind the gist.... gimme a buzz! LOL
Have a splendid week y'all

someone's watching over me.....

When I thought about writing today's entry...I wanted to begin with the latest happening in my life...how once again, to my chargin I find myself in that familiar place -Singletons! Well, not that I'd really left but let me but it this way, I missed the flight! naa, that doesnt quite capture it...hmmm, I'd packed my bags, told everyone i was going to travel, gotten my documents, my tickets and was just waiting for my visa to arrive...and it was denied [well that really did happen but that's not the gist of today] You know the feeling of being so close to getting something...just barely inches away and you can feel it or even taste it....and then SMASH! You're back to square one...that's what happened. I could almost feel that wind in my hair (yeah right) and then the door slammed shut in my face.

I was also going to tell you guys about this guy i keep running into. It's actuaally hilarious because the first time i saw him ws in the library, he looked at me as if he'd seem a ghost or something. He said hi, and i said hi, and i walked away. What is most amusing is that I ALWAYS run into him. Seriously, campus is not that small trust me, but a week hardly runs by that i dont 'bump' into him by accident.
Usually i wouldnt acknowledge it, but yesterday I was returning from the Lab late at night and there he was walking toward the student buiding...I couldnt resist bursting into laughter...what kind of awful coincidence is this. What was more ironic is that i guess because i started laughing he just didnt say his usual 'hi'.
Anyways for what its worth, the next time i see him (if i do see him again), i'll stop him, say hi, introduce myself and have a chat!! GO Getter TEVA!!

So back to door slam experience...I truly hit myself on the head and went 'why??? why??? why????' Why is it that feelings dont flow in circles, they flow in triangles..... And i know myself too well, cant sit well with those whys, especially when it has some sentimental attachment to it. I mean, why ask why the sun shines when you know it will anyway? Why ask why winters are so cold when you know temperatures are not going to change just 'cause you are grumbling about it.

Its amazing that i've not talked about his imperial majesty in a while. That's partly 'cause we are getting along better now. Well the distance is definitely an augmenting factor but I think we communicate better now...via emails...Good! I miss my mama. I so wish...I really wish i could help her right now but she needs a new, fresh outlook on life, something she can't afford or doesn't want to afford now. Its amazing how if you've been put down long enough you begin to think like that. In as much as i've forgiven him, i cant help but wonder how much better, how life would really be if things were different. I f she was a go-getter! If she were more confident. If she really knew her worth...for she is priceless.
Now when I think about the 'SLAM' in my face, I think about the hand holding me up and the other covering me. I take a look at myself in the mirror and see the price tag hanging around my neck...its the life of the only son of God.
I'm glad I have that knowledge...and i know, nothing! NOTHING, absolutely nothing can take that knowledge from me. It is my identity....Look out world! A star just started shining!!!

...you had a bad day..........

He just up and left.......
And this time i'm going to write about it! I'm entering this national writing contest to write a book of 50,000 words or more by the end of november....
Wish me luck!
Favour!