An Experiment to test the hypothesis: Does Teva need a man??

As a growing student of science, I have come to learn that things should only be utilized after months of extensive research(depending on the topic/issue) and experimentations to fully understand the nature of a particular issue, and as Pat (my research methods lecturer) would say to nullify alot of hypothesis and say that with a certainty of up to 90% this particular issue means this.
An enthusiastic student that i am, i decided to apply this approach to solving an age long mystery in my life
" Does Teva really need a man?"
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, there you have it. To make this a one tailed experiment, i've redefined the hypothesis: "Teva need a man" and we will try to nullify this through a series of experiments run over a week. In conformity with APA standards (I wish you could all see how i've been laughing...)This experiment will be conducted after an ethical review (this took a year to get! LOL)

Abstract

Isolating relevant stimuli that makes an average female desire a man was the most difficult part of this experiment. As we all know the female homo sapiens sapiens is probably the most complex of all carbon-based mammals. Thus i've classified narrowed the independent variables down to the most prevalent types:
1. 'He-Is' - this i define as an overwhelming attraction to a guy (his personality, his mannerisms...at least an attraction that supercedes lust)
2. Esthetics - It is popular knowledge that most ladies would have a man just cause he has some financial, physical or mental incentives to offer. Lets be honest, Who wants a dull, broke, fat guy??
3. Loneliness - The number one cause of why woman take on men, even when they decipher that he might not be worth it in the end
4. Status - This is not a conclusive trait for all women, but a sizeable percentage of women would date a guy because he's single. Some will date him, just 'cause he's married, etc....different strokes for different folks

Method:

A week long analysis of trait by altering some independent on three 'likely' subjects': MBLA, Xfac, Bal. Each of the subjects has at least an average measure of 'He-Is' factor, moderate esthetics, and are all single (Teva's preference). Ok, let the experiments begin....
Please not that all these are examined with very little 'physical contact with the subjects'

Test 1:
48-hour silence
It is believed that absence should make the heart grow fonder. Since we cant move the subjects away from their normal routines, teva was instructed to avoid ALL contact with each subject for a period of 48 hours. No contact covers verbal and non-verbal communication: call, emails, greeting longer than 30 secs. etc. To ensure that the stimuli produced by the subjects were isolated, the other two subjects were engaged in continued dialogue over this period. That is: When Xfac is tested, contact is maintained with MBLA and Bal
Result:
Xfac - A stimulus of yearning was detected for the first 12 hours. Afterward nothing else.
Bal - No stimuli was detected.
MBLA - Could not complete the 48-hour silence. The stimulus of yearning was detected from the first 3 hours which peaked by the 38th hour and resulted in a compromise of test (that is an email).

Test 2:
Quality of time spent:
The average woman values what is referred to as "Quality Time". This is time spent with her man doing what she feels adds to the pleasure derived from the relationship.In this experiment, the quality of time spent is measured by:
1 the number of laughs per hour spent with the subject(QL);
2 the number of 'uncomfortable moments' per meeting(UM);
3 the number of moments of 'intense attraction'(IA)
Result:



Test 3:
Feasibility studies:
This is an analysis of how easy it will be for the subject to fit into an appropraite boyfriend situation. This covers how adaptable the subject is, how flexible he is. Is he dependable? Does he handle situations well?Please note that the results of this test are strictly at the candidate's intuitive deduction of each subject and is ranked as
1 - Outstanding 2-Just Right 3- Manageable 4- Not suitable 5- HELL NO!!

Xfac - 1
Bal - 3
MBLA - 2

Conclusion:
Each of the candidiates have strong points and its hard to conclude....you know what? I just realised that i've been testing the suitability of any three of the subjects and not whether or not Teva needs a man or not...hmmm anyway 'It doesntmatta!!!'