Back to Singletons'

Well here we are again! the familiar feeling of wanting and not getting. The crossroads where we've parted ways. I guess i knew it was coming. We had been going back and forth over the same issues lately. I had a last chance to save it on friday but i let it go. I guess I know why...the sacred choice between heart and duty. It may hurt (and believe me, it did) but I was doing him no further good. I can't move forward with him (and i so want to move forward) and i cant let him give it all up. It just isn't done.
So we did the honourable thing, more like i did the honourable, painful, partly sad, very wise thing. So here is mademouiselle Teva single and very hurt! hurt she imposed on herself anyways. Its all good.
Its amazing how i never fall for the simple guys, the nerdie-good-kind...nooo! na...i've got to go find me the 'trobule' kind, the ones with non-relenting ex's, the ones with 'its-not-my-fault-i-did-it,-i'm-a-guy' kind of tales for all their mistakes, ones with really complex issues....maybe i should see a shrink!
Better yet, maybe i should be like my aunt V. Single, content, and pushing forty! (don't think i have the nerve for that) [shrugs] i'd love to have kids and I can not put them throught the pain of being raised without a father. so here we are back to square one...the single's circle!
Even though it hurt, i feel peace towards him, and i know he's a good guy inside and i wish him well...
now its time for me to be silent and heal.....